


Maybe you're all I ever wanted

by taehbaeh



Series: the universe couldn't keep us apart [1]
Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Prequel, seungseok superior, tooth-Rotting fluff at the very end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21622537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taehbaeh/pseuds/taehbaeh
Summary: Being in love with Wooseok has been painful. Maybe it's time Seungyoun can finally stop hurting.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Series: the universe couldn't keep us apart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558420
Comments: 4
Kudos: 100





	Maybe you're all I ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to 'he'll never love you quite like me'  
> It can be read as a stand alone, however, I'm planning on writing an interquel as well!  
> Anyways, I suck at narration so I hope this is bearable at the very least. This is unbetaed obviously.  
> Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are very much appreciated!

Seungyoun is not stupid.

He might be a bit dense sometimes, not always following the things that are happening around him and he’s always the last one to get a joke. So, yes, he’s dense. But stupid? _No_.

And more than anything, he takes pride in how well he knows his friends. He might be oblivious to most things but Seungyoun notices every change in his friends’ demeanors, picks up on all the little mood changes.

 _Especially_ , when it comes to Wooseok.

Just from a simple text that might seem _off_ , Seungyoun will know to drive to the other’s apartment with a box of his favorite take-out food, put on a sappy romantic movie and wrap the smaller man up in a blanket.

So when Wooseok starts avoiding him out of the blue, Seungyoun is positive something’s wrong. And it hurts because Seungyoun has tried so hard, _for years_ , to keep his stupid feelings for his best friend in check; safely hidden away, just to ensure something like this wouldn’t happen. And now it’s happening and he has no idea what might’ve caused it. He’s tried to confront the other numerous times but either Wooseok finds a way to get himself out of the situation or someone very conveniently interrupts them.

And Seungyoun is terrified because this is the first time Wooseok is giving him the cold shoulder for longer than a day. It’s not like they haven’t fought before but it usually results in them yelling it off and eventually making up. But this is different. Wooseok is not yelling, he doesn’t even _look_ mad. He’s just plainly _avoiding_ him and somehow that’s worse than having him be angry at Seungyoun.

When it’s been a few days of Wooseok ignoring him with every chance he gets and they’re all gathered in Seungwoo’s apartment for movie night, Seungyoun decides it’s now or never. He’ll have to get Wooseok to talk and fix whatever the fuck it is he did.

“Wooseok,”

The man in question jumps at the voice, dropping the bag chips he’d been holding to place a palm over his chest. “Shit, you scared me.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” Seungyoun cuts to the chase, tired of beating around the bush.

Wooseok resembles a deer caught in headlights, eyes big and stunned, and in any other situation, Seungyoun would’ve found it adorable.

“I- What?” Wooseok feigns confusion and Seungyoun sighs, exasperated at the fact that his best friend really must think he can be fooled.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He states, this time.

“No, I haven’t.” Wooseok answers, adjusting the glasses on his nose, a sign that indicates he’s nervous which only serves as confirmation for something Seungyoun already knew.

“Yes, you have. I’m not fucking stupid, Wooseok. You don’t respond to my texts and when you do it’s always a flat answer. You do everything to ensure we’re not left alone together and for god’s sake, you’ve even left your laptop at my apartment but you claim you don’t need it just so you don’t have to come over.” Seungyoun finishes, eyeing Wooseok accusingly. “You still wanna go on about how you’re _not_ avoiding me?”

Wooseok looks down, fidgeting with his fingers and he looks so small in that moment that Seungyoun almost feels bad, almost wants to take it all back. But then Wooseok will just go back to avoiding him and Seungyoun will be left wondering what made the other drift away from him.

“Wooseok, listen-“

_“What are you guys doing? We’re about to start the movie.”_

Seungyoun clenches his eyes shut at Hangyul’s voice sounding from behind him, immediately wanting to curse his friend for his awful timing.

Wooseok doesn’t seem to mind though, he looks rather relieved, his previously tensed shoulders slumping down and something in Seungyoun’s chest clenches uneasily.

_Do I really make him that uncomfortable?_

“We’re coming,” Wooseok says, avoiding Seungyoun’s gaze as he attempts to walk past him.

Seungyoun knows there’s not much he can say now, with Hangyul shifting his gaze between the two of them suspiciously, so he grabs Wooseok’s arm before he gets the chance to walk out and says, “I’m driving you home later,”

Without giving Wooseok much of a chance to argue back, he walks out of the kitchen.

* * *

They’re sitting in the car, parked in front of Wooseok’s apartment complex and for what seems to be the first time since they’ve known each other, there’s this unbearable tension between them and Seungyoun just wants it to go away.

“I’ll go then.” Wooseok breaks the silence, seemingly unsure of what to say and reaches out for the door handle.

“Can I come up? So we can talk.” Seungyoun says before the other gets to step out of the car.

Wooseok’s lips part slightly and the way he seems to want anything _but_ to have the other come up has Seungyoun’s chest tightening unpleasantly.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Seungyoun, I’m not-“

“Please?” Seungyoun resorts to pleading, hoping the look he gives Wooseok is enough to convince him that he really just wants nothing but to have his friend back.

Wooseok’s eyes search Seungyoun’s, seemingly contemplating for a moment and eventually he gives in with a nod. “Okay.”

Wooseok flicks the lights on once they’re inside, dropping his jacket on the couch- a bad habit of Seungyoun’s that has rubbed off on him- and he starts getting all jittery.

Seungyoun wonders when things got so awkward between them.

“Do you- uh, I’ll make us some tea or-“

Seungyoun grabs him by the arm. “I want to talk.”

Wooseok looks up, “Okay. But like I told you I’m not-“

“Cut the bullshit, Wooseok.” Seungyoun lets out a bit too sharply and he has to remind himself to keep his composure. “I’m not fucking stupid, I clearly did something wrong but I can’t fix it unless you tell me what it is.”

Wooseok’s gaze falls to the ground but he doesn’t say anything.

“Please,” Seungyoun tries again, reaching out to hold his hand. “I miss you.”

And maybe his desperation is heard, perhaps Wooseok realizes that Seungyoun truly feels lost without the other because he clenches his eyes shut for a moment and finally speaks.

“Remember last week, when I- uh, I came to you after…” Wooseok doesn’t finish his sentence and he doesn’t have to because Seungyoun remembers. He recalls the moment Wooseok had knocked on his door late in the evening, face twisted in sadness, eyes crying. Seungyoun had pulled him into his arms without much thought, letting the smaller man sob into his chest. Seungyoun didn’t need to ask to know what had happened, having comforted a heartbroken Wooseok one too many times before. And knowing that the guy Wooseok had been dating at the time was nothing short of undeserving of his best friend, it didn’t take much to connect the dots.

Seungyoun wasn’t sure what made him say what he had said next. Maybe having Wooseok this close clouded his senses, made him think irrationally.

_“Why do you always bother with those assholes? I’d never hurt you like this.”_

Seungyoun realized he had slipped up but when Wooseok didn’t say anything he figured he could brush it off, sweep his feelings under the rug once again and bear the pain of having to watch his best friend go through heartbreak, knowing he cannot be there for him the way he truly wants to.

But now Wooseok is bringing it up which means it didn’t go unnoticed, which means _this_ is where Seungyoun fucked up.

There are at least a thousand different scenarios unfolding in Seungyoun’s mind, all of which consist of Wooseok admitting that Seungyoun made him uncomfortable and that he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.

“Shit, Wooseok, that- _fuck_.” Seungyoun runs a hand through his hair, searching for something, _anything,_ that might mend the situation. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Like what?” Wooseok asks carefully, brown eyes awaiting the other’s response.

“It came out the wrong way.” Seungyoun lies, hoping that his stupid slip up doesn’t make Wooseok think back to all the times Seungyoun has looked at him differently.

“It did?” Wooseok’s mumbles and if Seungyoun didn’t know any better he’d think Wooseok looked disappointed, gaze dropping to the ground, his hand slipping away from Seungyoun’s grip.

“No, that’s good. It’s for the best.” He nods to himself.

Seungyoun watches closely as Wooseok’s nose grows red at the tip; his mouth starting to tremble soon after and he barely catches the glassy layer of tears in Wooseok’s brown eyes before he turns to hide away.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Seungyoun asks, worried. He’s puzzled, staring at Wooseok’s back, hearing him sniffling silently, and the slight tremble in his shoulders only makes Seungyoun’s concern grow bigger. “Why are you crying?”

Wooseok uses his sleeves to wipe at his eyes, spinning back around to stare at Seungyoun with a pair of gloomy eyes.

“It’s just,” Wooseok starts, hesitating. “What you said, that night, it just got me thinking about… some stuff and I realized some things. About myself, mostly. And you. _Us_ , basically.”

Seungyoun feels as if time is slowing down, his stomach knotting up, leaving behind this anxious feeling as he listens to Wooseok speak, heart pounding loudly against his chest; maybe in anticipation of hearing something he’d never expect to hear, or in fear that he’s gotten it all wrong.

“But it’s stupid, it doesn’t even matter anymore.”

Seungyoun just stands there frozen down to his feet, wondering whether he’s getting ahead of himself.

_But it almost sounds like Wooseok-_

“Can we just forget about this?” Wooseok asks, brows furrowed in a silent plea.

“What kind of things did you realize?” Seungyoun asks, throat dry.

Wooseok shakes his head, “Seungyoun, let’s not do this. I told you, it’s stupid.”

Seungyoun gulps, feeling his hands shake as he speaks again.

“What- what if I realized some things too?”

Wooseok looks up, mouth parting slightly, “What are you talking about?”

Seungyoun hesitates slightly, knowing that he might’ve completely misinterpreted everything. What if Wooseok means something completely different? What if he’s about to make a huge mistake?

“What if what you’re saying isn’t stupid and what if it _does_ matter?” Seungyoun says, rushing to get the words out, fearing that he might back out if he thinks this through. “What if I feel the same way?”

Wooseok stares at him wide-eyed and Seungyoun feels like he might throw up if the other doesn’t say anything soon.

“You said you didn’t mean it like that.” Wooseok mumbles, voice small and insecure.

“I lied.”

“So you’re saying that you-“

“Yes.” Seungyoun breathes out. “For so long. I’m surprised you never noticed.”

Wooseok bites his lip nervously, “Well, what does this mean then, Seungyoun?”

Seungyoun takes a step forward, “It can mean whatever we want it to mean.”

“You know it’s not that simple,” Wooseok argues, looking up at the other.

“We don’t have to make it hard.”

Seungyoun reaches out to place a hand on Wooseok’s face but the latter pushes it away.

“This is going to change everything between us, you know that, right? The moment I realized how I feel about you- when I realized that I’ve felt like this for so long but never chose to acknowledge it, I got so fucking scared, Seungyoun. I kept beating myself up about how in the world I should keep this away from you because you’re my best friend and this could ruin everything. Do you really not care about putting it all on the line?” Wooseok asks, spitting out accusations that couldn’t stray further away from the truth.

“If I didn’t care, we would’ve had this conversation years ago.” Seungyoun spews back, albeit a bit too harshly. “You don’t get to tell me I don’t care when I’ve been holding this back for as long as I can remember. I care so goddamn much and I’ve been terrified of telling you how I feel for so long but now it’s out there. So don’t tell me I don’t care about putting everything on the line because I’m scared shitless but I fucking _love_ you and I don’t want to live knowing I might've missed out on something great.”

Wooseok’s face turns as white as chalk. His eyes and his mouth are frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise as if he’d never expect to hear a confession like that coming from his best friend. As if he truly never noticed that Seungyoun’s been in love with him all this time.

“Seungyoun, I-“

Seungyoun attempts to reach out for the other once again, hand reaching to hold onto Wooseok’s face gently. When Seungyoun is just inches away Wooseok looks up and just gazes, soaking in the warmth of his eyes.

After a moment Wooseok raises his hand to hold onto Seungyoun and lets tears fall, “If we go through with this and fuck up, we lose everything. You know that, right? I lose you. You lose me.”

_You lose me._

Seungyoun can feel his chest tightening because Wooseok is right. They could probably sweep this whole thing back under the rug, forget about this entire conversation and easily go back to how they used to be; their friendship could handle _that_ much.

But if they cross this line, there’s no turning back.

And Seungyoun had been fine all these years. It hurt, of course, it did. But it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

Now that being with Wooseok isn’t this distant, unreachable image anymore, Seungyoun isn’t so sure he’ll be able to lock everything back inside and act as if nothing happened.

“And if we don’t lose anything?”

Seungyoun looks at Wooseok and his eyes are so different in that moment, more soft than Seungyoun knew them to be. Then Wooseok says the words he needs to hear, the only confirmation he needs. "So you’re saying we’re going to be fine. Right?"

Seungyoun’s lips stretch into a smile and he nods, taking in every moment for his memory, as he leans in to catch Wooseok’s lips into a kiss. It’s soft and comforting, and with Wooseok pressed so close to him Seungyoun realizes that nothing else really matters.

All the doubts fade away and everything finally settles into place. Being in love with Wooseok used to be painful as it was beautiful. It used to come with tears and heartache. It used to be a process of hurting and healing, only to hurt all over again.

But as they part and Seungyoun sees the shy smile on Wooseok’s face, he realizes he might not have to hurt again.

* * *

They step out into the cold after what Seungyoun considers to be a very successful first date and he glances at Wooseok, seeing him shiver as he rubs his hands together. Impulsively, Seungyoun uses his scarf to wrap it around his _boyfriend_ instead.

Wooseok looks up at him surprised, cheeks taking in the color of his nose, as he turns away, embarrassed.

“What?” Seungyoun laughs lightly, trying to have a peek at Wooseok’s flushed face.

“You never used to do things like that.” The other mumbles, turning to face him.

Seungyoun smiles, reaching out to cup Wooseok’s face in both hands. “I did, you just never noticed.

“That makes me sound like an asshole.” Wooseok pouts and Seungyoun can feel his heart swell at the sight.

“You’re cute, so that makes up for it, I guess,” Seungyoun says, leaning down to press a kiss against Wooseok’s cold, little nose.

“Shut up, you’re being gross.” Wooseok gently prods at his chest, with no real intention of pushing him away.

Seungyoun lets out a chuckle, wrapping his arms around the other, “Let me be, I have lots of catching up to do.”

Seungyoun can hear the little giggles coming from where Wooseok’s face is smushed against his chest and he sighs happily.

“Seungyoun?” Wooseok mumbles after a while.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Seungyoun’s chest tightens and he thinks he might as well be dreaming _._

_“I love you too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> this ending is so cheesy, fuck. Also to anyone who's read 'he'll never love you quite like me', the ending was specifically written bc I had mentioned their first date during the scarf scene and couldn't let it go lmao
> 
> you can find me on twitter [@yooboox](http://twitter.com/yooboox?s=09)  
> 


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